My fiance wants to give up all rights to his 3 children from a previous marriage. The reason being because his ex wife constantly uses them as a way to control him. She divorced him and got an injunction of protection then told him that the injunction had been dropped and he could see his kids. He went by on his way out of town to say goodbye to them and she reported him to the police. It turns out the injunction had never been terminated and she was unhappy because he was (is) in a relationship with me. Because of her he is currently locked up because of this and has refused an offer of 6 months in jail and is taking it to trial. She constantly sends him emails begging him to call and take her back and uses the kids as a bargaining tool. Then when things don't go her way she reports him to the police. He also has a restraining order against her but won't report her beause she is the mother of his children. He wants to relinquish his rights simply because that is the ONLY way she will ever leave him alone. Any information regarding the termination of parental rights and suggestions on how to handle the injuction case would be greatly appreciated.

As a Father I find this option repulsive. He has legal options if he uses then. Throwing away your children is not a solution!! Ok on to other things. He cannot terminate his rights unless Mom is currently married and her husband wishes to adopt

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Your best advice legal advice does not come from internet message boards, Police, friends, family, your neighbors etc.It comes from an Attorney. Advice given here should not replace legal advice from a qualified Attorney.
Non legal parenting and relationship issues http://www.parentnook.com/forum/

Why on earth would he take LEGAL advice about a restraining order from the person who GOT the order in the first place??????????????????



He needs to smarten up and DOCUMENT that she is initiating all of this contact with him and get BACK in front of a judge and say "HEY - if she's so scared of me that she wanted a protection order, why is SHE trying to contact me all the time"? Until a JUDGE says the order has gone bye bye, he needs to assume 100% of the time that ANY contact from her that he responds to in ANY way could land him in jail - and act accordingly.


Very galant. But not going to be beneficial in reality.

As noted, courts want children to have TWO parents - even if they are both dysfunctional. Unless one parent has some SERIOUS issues (such as being incarcerated for life, or having a history of crimes against children), one potential supporter (not just financially, but emotionally and other ways as well) won't be let off the hook until there is another lined up and ready to take his place. And courts don't want children going through revolving doors of fathers, so they typically won't allow the adoption to take place until mom and her new man have managed to maintain at least some level of functional family for some period of time - a year, give or take. In other words, the odds that he'll be able to abandon the children just so he doesn't have to deal with the mother are very close to zero. Their IS a way to deal with her, and that structure is already in place thanks to the restraining order. That he chooses not to have it enforced isn't going to win him brownie points with the court and will keep the status quo, repeating over and over the pattern of her having contact, him not reporting, her having him arrested as part of her sick game, and then start over.

And the simple reality is that possessive, psycho ex's don't stop this type of behavior just because they GET the kids, even if he could magically snap his fingers and make that happen. Today's excuse will be the kids. If the kids die in a plane crash, it'll be a new reason tomorrow. The kids are just the tool of the moment. He needs to be dealing with this issue in a MUCH MUCH bigger picture, otherwise he (and you) will be dragged through this until she gets him back or dies trying.

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While pointers can be helpful, ultimately the number one lesson in any legal action is: don't take legal advice from books, family, friends, co-workers, police officers, grocery clerks, web sites, or people on legal message boards. The only person who can give YOU legal advice is YOUR attorney.

http://www.aardvarc.org

I responded to your other post.