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09-07-2005, 05:55 PM
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step parents rights
I have joint legal custody of my teo children ages 12 and 10. Their father is the primary custodial parent (long story short judge didn't like my unconventional hours that I work as a paramedic). I have problems with the step mother who is in the picture. She signs legal documents concerning the children such as school registration forms and medical consent forms. I have tried to explain to them that she cannot give consent. Am I right or do step parents have legal rights over the biological parent?
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11-16-2008, 08:45 PM
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My thoughts as a step parent
I am a step mother of a 4 year old boy... and here are my thoughts... nobody says that a step parent has legal rights over the biological parents... but you said yourself that you have unconventional hours as a paramedic (which I give you props on... that is an awesome career) and if your ex husband isn't available and your children needed something for school or medical treatment... wouldn't you want your kids step mother to be able to sign the papers to get them what they need? Or there be a medical emergency and have to wait to get ahold of your or their father... My opinion as a step mother is this... if the lady treats your kids right and does what's right by them then don't sweat the small stuff. I mean your kids could have a step mother that treats them like crap and doesn't care what they need. Step parents should have more rights than they do. They are expected to take care of the child and provide a home and food and clothes, yet they are expected to sit on the sidelines in the process of stuff like signing papers that need signed? But if she was mistreating the child you would be the first one to send her to jail right? Of course... so sit back relax and enjoy your kids growing up... Don't try to pick fights and make everyone miserable in the process including yourself... cuz it doesn't have anything to do with her trying to overrule you as your children's mother!
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04-07-2009, 10:07 PM
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legal strangers
Step-Parents are LEGAL STRANGERS. Period.
While I respect your stance, amber_lynn ... let's take into account Step-Mothers that are overbearing, controlling and refuse to effectively coparent with the biological Mother and instead try to take over.
My son's Step-Mother LOVES signing her name that has anything to do w/ him. Medical records, school documents, etc. And it is rare that I am even notified of these documents that require permission.
Why should another woman be in control of and take charge over my child's important records? I feel it's not her place. So as much as no one should "sweat the small stuff", being kept informed of my child's documents and records is nothing "small". To me, it is vital and very important that the actual Mother and Father deal w/ these issues directly and for the Step-Parent to have enough respect to bow out gracefully.
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11-21-2009, 11:28 AM
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Grow up.
Biological mothers need to chalk the ego. There is no logical reason that a step-mother that does not abuse the children or do things that hinder their growth and development should have to pay to support your kids and not have any other rights. Get over your jealousy issues and enjoy your children. If you're a good mommy... you have nothing to worry about. Honestly, if you can't work together with the step-mother you will just cause your kids more emotional harm. If you are the type of parent who cries and whines cause someone other than you is doing something for them... you should not have custody anyway.
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04-02-2010, 02:28 AM
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1
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I do not think that a step parent in any way should make a decision if the biological parents are both living, yes everyone needs to get along but in most cases that will not happen, but step parents should only be for the support of the spouse not to determine what is best for the step child.
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04-19-2010, 07:53 AM
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1
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I am a stepmom my step daughter is 11 yrs old I have helped raise her since she was 4. Her mother lives in the same town as us about 8 blocks away. She sees her every other weekend. When my step daughter was 7 her mother disappeared for a yr then came back raising he$$ cause she wanted her daughter. My husband went to court got primary custody she chose to only have her every other weekend. I take care of my step daughter while her father works. I get her ready for school. I make sure she brushes her teeth, does her homework, I practice with her in softball, ect. I am nice to her mother, don't talk bad about her. I sign papers, hospital, school, ect.So for someone to say stepmothers should not make decisions if both parents are alive is bull...just cause they are alive doesnt make them a good parent, any woman can have a baby. When my sister was 8 she fell and busted her head open, my mom was outta town and my dad was working in the town about 20 minutes away. The hospital wouldnt take my sister cause my stepmom was there they wanted my father or mother who were not around. My stepmom held my sister in the emergency waiting room with a rag on her head crying and freaking out until my father showed up an 30minutes later. So in emergencies I definetly think stepmoms should be able to sign papers! I think as long as the kids are treated right by the step mother it shouldnt be a big deal if she signs papers.
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04-19-2010, 09:30 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,834
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The ethics of being a step parent have nothing to do with the legal status of being a step parent. I agree that step parents can love their step chidlren every bit as much as a biological parent, and in many cases, even more. They can be excellent caretakers, providers, sources of comfort, and all the wonderful roles that come with being a parent figure. But none of that changes the legal status of a step parent - which is ZERO, until and unless that step parent legally adopts the child in question. Until then, no matter how well bonded, a step parent is on the same legal status as the mailman because the courts uphold the legal parental status of the biological parent until some legal change occurs. Step parents are simply not legally Parent 2.1 - even with all the other aspects in place.
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04-22-2010, 10:16 AM
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: texas
Posts: 1
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Overbearing step mother
I have 4 awesome kids and divorced their Dad 8 years ago. He remarried 5 years ago and step Mom and I have worked very hard at becoming friends and getting along. I have split custody of them and both of us are completely involved in the kids lives. (He has 2 step children that live with them full time). As the kids have gotten older their step mother has continued to step over my boundaries and feels the need to introduce herself as my children's mother. At their schools, to their teachers, ect. I have had more people question who the "real" mom is when introduced. There is nothing that infuriates me more. When confronted about this she explains to me how "hard it is to be a step mother and all the negative connotations that step mother comes with." Really? When marrying my ex husband -she took over all parental rights? I took my daughter to the doctor the other day and because I did not discuss what the doctor had said -about a sprained thumb_she called the doctors office to discuss with the doctor! Does she have the right to do that when their are two very involved biological parents? She has admitted to me that she wants to be my kids mom...certifiable? Don't know where to go for all of this...help
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04-25-2010, 06:03 PM
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Moderator
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 15,003
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You may want to repost this under family law. You really need to speak with your ex regarding this. You can certainly speak with the doctor and tell him that he is only to speak with you or your ex. Have you browsed through the information in LawInfo's Free Legal Resource Center to learn more about your issue yet? See: http://www.lawinfo.com/consumer.html and http://resources.lawinfo.com/en/index.html. You can certainly try to speak to a lawyer to determine what legal options may be available. In the meantime, you may be able to learn more on your own. Search the "Free Legal Resources" tab, or browse the Consumer Resources. Good luck.
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06-23-2010, 10:37 AM
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1
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Arkansas Step-Parents
Step parents do have some rights in Arkansas. They can sign for emergency medical treatment, but must also be responsible for the bill. They have standing to sue for custody, although to win, they must prove the biological parent unfit AND that it is in the best interest of the child as the law does prefer the biological parent over the step-parent. (This would normally be in the event of one parents death). And Arkansas also allows for Step-Parent visitation. Step Parents can NOT sign to release medical or educational records, etc.
As for a step-parent signing for different things... in my opinion, I think it depends what they are signing for and the situation. I had a situation in the past in which my kids step-mother took them to medical appointments, listing herself as their mother, no father listed, and not providing some EXTREMELY vital medical history (because she was unaware) and I was not even aware of the appointments / treatments. It was one of many attempts to exclude me from my kids lives against my will. In this situation, it was wrong. However, if it had simply been that this appointment was scheduled and she was the one that took them and filled out the paperwork with the correct medical history, etc. I would have had no problem with her signing. She signed report cards and other school dosumentation at times and I was ok with that. It needed to be done, she was unemployed and available to do it. I have since changed the Joint Custody agreement and I now have sole custody so things are simpler.
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