Need information: Giving up parental rights for a mentally troubled child
Hello,
My husband and I have been dealing with a very ugly situation for the last 2 1/2 years. He has a young daughter, who is currently almost 5 years old. This child is mentally ill (most likely child onset bipolar disorder or a comorbid combination of ADHD/learning disability/some sort of conduct disorder).
I came into the picture when his daughter was only two years old...in the past 2 1/2 years, we have had issues with her such as:
~extreme hyperactivity 24/7
~learning problems
~vocal tics (repeating words, etc.)
~problems relating fantasy/reality
~compulsive lying-even as far as to say that her parents did things to her that are not true
~animal cruelty, including recently trying to strangle a cat (April), and hurting a rabbit so badly that it had to be put down (broken legs in June)
~rages through her entire life
~instances at age 2-3 1/2 where she drew with and played in her own feces
~odd and random behavior (coming up and licking someone's arm, grabbing dirt and throwing it in someone's face unprovoked, etc.)
~impulse control issues
~took 1 1/2 years to potty train her
~extremely defiant and obstinate behaviors
The list goes on and on...my husband and took her to her pediatrician at age 3, trying to get somewhere with this. She saw a psychologist from age 3-4, and at age 4 he did the TOVA (Attentional Disorder Testing) on her, and she failed it so badly that she invalidated the score. The psychologist guessed at the possible diagnosises above, and said that a medication test would be needed to get a diagnosis. Her reaction to meds would determine which diagnosis was true. Her mother refused to agree to medicate her at that time. Over the past couple of years, we have had to slowly go from joint parenting time (half week at each residence) to 1 day a week. It is simply too stressful to have her here, since we have 3 pets, and I have 3 children. We can't have her here hurting the animals, exposing my kids to her odd behavior (a nightly example might be her forcing herself to vomit because she doesn't want to eat dinner) and her rages. We have moved on to a second psychiatrist who also believes here to be "outside of the range of normal", yet her mother still refuses to take her problems seriously and treat her. We are afraid for not only having her here around the other kids and the pets...but also afraid of having to be legally responsible for her, if her mother keeps on refusing to treat her mental illness...as her behaviors have gotten more odd and sometimes violent with age.
We don't know anything about the laws in Indiana, as far as being able to terminate parental rights under this circumstance. The stress from this situation has been too much to bear, and we can't continue to live in limbo like this, dealing with a mentally ill child that the mother refuses to treat. She won't LET my husband be a father...other than visitation and collecting her checks. She won't let him get her treated and the medication she needs...and she won't do anything that the psychologists and her play therapists suggest.
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