My husband and I are in the middle of a divorce and custody battle - for primary custody on a joint custody basis. He left the marriage, I do not want the divorce. During our separation, I moved into a new home of my own, as he kicked me out of "his house". I am a very fit, competent, and loving mother to our 19 month old daughter. She is currently in temporary custody of both of us part-time; 2 days with me, 2 days with him, 3 with me, and then 3 with him. She is showing signs of distress being away from me for as long a period of time that she is. I am so worried about her well-being and how she may negatively be affected by her separation from me. I am under the impression that filing an emergency custody order would be wrong considering her father does not abuse her? I am seeking a way to bring more stability to her life, having her primary residence with me, and still have contact with her father. Does anyone have any advice on this? Can anyone also tell me how likely he is to get primary custody and residence if he cannot prove me to be an unfit mother? He also does not think he should have to pay child support because of the joint custody arrangement. I need some hope. Thanks~

I can understand that this is a frustrating situation for you. I would suggest that you post this under family law as well. I would also suggest that you speak with an attorney regarding your legal options. You can locate one through the attorney locator on Lawinfo's home page at http://www.lawinfo.com/. Some do offer free consultations.

You might FEEL that all of her anxiety comes form being seperated from you, but a child psychologist would likely say that it's likely a generalized anxiety due to the nature of the stresses inherent in such a situation. For all anyone knows, she could be stressed from being away from HIM (or at least he could make that argument as well).

Anyway, an emergency custody order probably isn't "wrong", but isn't likely to be granted either as there doesn't appear to be anything amiss here.

He doesn't have to prove you an unfit mother to seek or get primary custody. He only has to show that he can provide the greater stability, care, environment, etc. etc. - all the different aspects that courts look for in determining the best for the child in the long run.

Child support will depend on who gets what level of custody and on the finances in question - so it's a bit early to tell that part.

Just from my personal experience, if it helps you any, I grew up with divorced parents who thankfully lived close enough together that I spent my time about 50/50 with each of them. It actually wasn't as stressful as you might think and turned out to be a good mix. It'll be easier for your child once they're a bit older and over the "hump" of the adults getting new routines in place.

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While pointers can be helpful, ultimately the number one lesson in any legal action is: don't take legal advice from books, family, friends, co-workers, police officers, grocery clerks, web sites, or people on legal message boards. The only person who can give YOU legal advice is YOUR attorney.

http://www.aardvarc.org

i'm in the same situation as you, the difference is that we didn't have a child, so i could imagine how frustrating and stressing is this. Just ask for advice to your lawyer, sorry i can help you more. But don't give up.