I know that this is going to seem strange, but here it goes. My husband and I have been married for 12 years. I can not say they all have been happy. Since we have had children ( 7 and 5), his drinking has hindered our relationship. By every definition, he is now an alcoholic. Truly, I just want out of the marriage. I do not want to run him through the cleaners and I do not want him to struggle to make ends meat by having to pay an outrageous amount in child support. HOnestly, we still love each other, however, we cant live with each other. We make each other crazy. We have totally different livestyles. I know that the drinking plays a major role in all this. Honestly, I can't watch him slowly kill himself any longer. I know there are loopholes that he can use. I want that for him. I want him to be happy. I want to take the kids to Oregon, because that is where all my family and social support is located. so what guidelines do we follow? He has agreed not to fight me, at first he did say he did not want to lose the kids, ( should have been coming home instead of hanging out at your buddies). Finally, I would rather use one of the on line divorce things, how good are those?

Sorry for the rambling, but this is pretty fresh and I have lots a questions.
thank you all

What you are looking for is not necessarily a loophole, but a deviation from guideline support, which you SHOULD be able to go with as long as you will be able to prove to the court that you will be able to care for the child(ren) and you will not need to utilize public assistance to do it. It's done all the time when people come to their own agreements. Keep in mind that child support is fluid, so you will be able to modify should circumstances change.

Might I also say... good for you. Sounds like you're just tired and you want out, but you still want to do the right thing. Not everyone is that mature when looking at things. You should be an example.

Thanks, I will have to consider that. How about in a legal separation? It seems since I have told him this it has brought us closer. I told him he could always follow us if he finally decided that is what would make him happy. Later, out of nowhere he said, I just might follow you I just don't know.

Thank you for the compliment. In all of this I have really done a great deal of soul searching and I dont want him to be unhappy. I know in his heart that he doesnt want that for me nor the kids.

How are those online programs?

Online services to do what? Prepare the paperwork or complete the whole process? Our jurisdiction does not allow for online divorces, however, there is 1 company that I can think of that you can prepare the paperwork online for a fee. They seem to be very accurate and no one that I know of has had a problem with their services. As with anything you get on the internet, I would be especially careful to check out who they are.

I can understand that this is a stressful situation for you. I suggest you contact an attorney to determine your legal options as well as to help you come to an agreement with your husband. You can find an attorney through the locator service on LawInfo’s home page at: http://www.lawinfo.com/.

You can also browse through the information in LawInfo’s Free Legal Resource Center here: http://www.lawinfo.com/index.cfm/fus...lient.consumer, or search for your particular topic here: http://resources.lawinfo.com/index.html.