In October of 09,my son received a phone call(on his cell) from a CPS worker.He stated my grand daughters name and asked if he was her father.My son said yes and the man stated that a complaint had been made about his ex wife and his daughter,He asked my son for the Mothers phone number.Now my son did tell the man his concerns about his daughter at that time and even asked the man not to tell his ex where he got her cell number from.According to the Mother,the CPS worker told her anyways.The day that the worker came out to visit the Mother,my grand daughter and the Mother's child from another relationship,my daughter in law called and asked me to pick up my grand child.She wanted me and was crying for me.So,of course I went and picked her up.By the time I got home,the Mom had called and told my husband that the man was there and needed to see my grandchild.I said I would bring her right back but the man told her to tell me that if she stayed at my house for any longer than 5 days,he'd just visit with the child here at my home.That way he could speak to my son at the same time.(My son had moved in with us) I also had the Mother give the man my number so he could contact me.He never did.
The Mother was accused of neglect, abuse and drugs.She was tested and about 2 wks later when the man still hadn't contacted my son to set up a visit,my son called him.The man said he was sorry but alot of people he drug tested came back dirty(not his ex wife) and he's been real busy but yes he did still want to talk to my son and see the child.That was November.My grandchild has pretty much been in my care since October.Now for the holidays of Halloween,Thanksgiving and Christmas,the Mother did come pick her up for those but in a day or two,she'd bring her back to me.My grand child refuses to talk to her Mother over the phone(she'll call 1 or 2 times during a week to tell me what all is going on with her and to check on the child) If I tell her that her Mother is going to come pick her up and take her somewhere,my grand daughter always questions me "And then she's gonna bring me back here?" I have to assure this 3yr.old that her Mother is bringing her back here.She doesn't want to be with her Mother.To me that is not normal.She tells people the only one she loves is her Daddy and Nana.
The Mother hardly ever has her children.They are left with whomever she can get to watch them.And no,the Mother does not work.I think my grand child is kept in a stressful situation most of the time and it is taking a tole on me.My son is faithful with his child support payments and calls every other day to check on her or to tell me when his next day off is and what time he will pick her up.
I would like to know if my son should demand an appointment with CPS to visit him and the child that the investigation was SUPPOSE to be about?Or is this normal for it to take 4 months for CPS to investigate.My son would like to take custody of his daughter or at the very least,have the Mother give me some of the child support to help out where the child mainly lives.I just don't know what to do.There are also concerns of her being messed with by a baby setters boyfriend.My son told CPS about that.They are dragging their feet on this.

Why is the child with you, as opposed to her father?

Am I reading your post correctly that the child was not officially PLACED with you by CPS, but that through mutual agreement the child is staying primarily under your roof?

CPS works slowly. Case workers often have up to a hundred cases, and those where children are in imminent danger of immediate or pending abuses take priority. Cases where a child is already OUT of an abusive environment and has some stability and a primary caregiver aren't anywhere near the top.

Philosophilcally, the trend in child services the last few years has been to try to do what can be done to help custodial parents "clean up" their acts, and to keep children with them whenever possible, or, to place the children with other family members while the wayward parent works a case plan (drug testing, etc) to try to get the child back. It's a slow process, and it sounds like if CPS were to determine that removal of the child was officially warranted, what they would likely do in this case is place the child with another family member while mom gets herself together enough to pass drug testing. Since it appears your family has already DONE this via mutual agreement informally, CPS probably isn't approaching the matter as a vital one. If they haven't FORMALLY removed the child from the mother, then you and your son are watching the child voluntarily. He can always go to court and request that he be the custodial parent - and he should expect that UNTIL he does that, things will remain status quo and the child will technically remain legally in mom's care (free to take the child, perminantly, at any time) - even though you've stepped up to provide primary care currently.

As for the matter of the mother's boyfriend, unless there is evidence of abuse, concerns alone are not enough to cause action. There can be documentation that concerns exist, but beyond a concern without foundation to support a charge of abuse typically results in nothing beyond a note in a file. Without physical evidence, three year olds are rarely competent enough to disclose enough information to support such a charge, and in the bigger picture, their IMMEDIATE concern is if the child is at risk - which she's not if she's no longer around mom's boyfriend and living with you.

If your son wants custody or child support modification, he needs to go to the courts and request such - it won't happen by itself regardless of whatever does or doesn't happen with CPS.

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No,my grandchild was not placed with me.Me taking care of the child has gone on since she was a few months old.My son would go to work and the Mother would have me watch her while she went to look for work,or take a friend to pick up medication,or whatever excuse she could tell me.At the time I started watching her,I just thought it was quality time with one of my grandchildren.I found out later that it was the Mom's play time.My son WOULD take her,and keeps telling the Mother that he'd raise her but she will not give up the child support.She asked me recently if I would care for her while she went out of state to look for work,and if she got the job,she'd come visit .I agreed but my son said "Then let's go down and change the papers where I have custody of her instead of my Mother keeping her".She won't do it.She doesn't want either of her children growing up thinking their mother gave them away to someone else.The other child she has,has been being left with his grandparents and father.I thank you for letting me know that my son would have to go to court for him to get custody rather or not CPS was involved.Should I also let CPS know what kind of behavior she has displayed(sexual) with other children? I don't want to come across to anyone as an over protective or paranoid person,but some of the things she has said and done seems strange for a 3 year old to say or do.Things about kissing privates.I have never heard of or seen a 3 three year old do that,so it was shocking.
My grandchild is with me because the Father works overnights,sleeps in daytime.Until recently,my son lived at my home also, but now lives with his girlfriend.They both work and my son doesn't feel like he should leave his child for the girlfriend to watch for him.On his 3 days off he comes and picks up his child.I greatly appreciate you taking the time to reply and you explained in such a way that I was able to understand the CPS's side of things,and feel relief that it is still possible that they haven't just dropped this altogether.The Mother had told me that she passed her drug testing and is done with CPS.I am affraid to believe everything she tells me.Thank you again!

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